Sacrifice

Do not show sadness.

Do not show anger.

Do not show fear.

You are not allowed to show negative feeling. 

Show only happiness. 

Show only a smile. 

Show only a laugh.

Think of the family. 

Do for the family. 

Be there for the family. 

Sacrifice for the family.

And yet deep down, 

All I want is to cry.

To scream.

To break something. 

But do they ever notice?

Do they know? 

The sacrifice. 

The pain. 

Late at night as the moon shines through my window and the house is silent , it’s that same silence that gets so loud. 

I lay down and cry but it comes with no sound. 

As the thought in my head runs round and round 

“ do not allow the family to hear” 

As tears stream down my face, & the empty screams hit my pillow. 

I lay and wonder if this is all my life was meant to be. 

Would my purpose be fulfilled, is this my purpose? 

Sometimes I’m just not sure anymore. 

The unspoken pain as you try to say “ I cannot do for you because now I need to do for myself “ 

And you’re told “ we never asked” 

And they turn and ask for something new in the very next moment. 

Am I selfish for walking away , for trying to leave.?

How could I have those thoughts. 

Because at the end of the day. 

Think of the family. 

Do for the family. 

Be there for the family. 

Do not ask, just do. 

Sacrifice.

Sacrifice your feelings.

Sacrifice your future. 

Sacrifice your love. 

Sacrifice your dreams.

Sacrifice. 

Sacrifice the person you could have become had somebody told you don't need to do this alone.